The Apology Letter | College Essay

It was the high of my life, the peak of my youth, the pinnacle of my high school years. Right after the very long and stressful SAT bootcamp I had to go through, I found myself living, studying and working with eight of my friends, 300 kilometers away from school. We were embarking on an ambitious journey, shooting for one far, bright star that most people would call us, teenagers, crazy for even trying. We wanted to write, produce, film and edit a full-length, feature fantasy film. At this point, my life just did a 180-degree flip, going from hammering hard on my math and English to being in my own creative headspace, dreaming about a love story. This was all that my filmmaking inner child wanted to do, and quite frankly, that’s all that I did.


I got lost in my dream. I was like the Forrest Gump that runs and runs until the day he feels like coming back home, but before I could come back home, I tripped over, face planted onto the ground. I let all of my emotions, my adrenaline, my excitement, my manifestation for this movie take control of everything in my life. When agreed upon this internship, I was required to keep up with my school responsibilities while I was making this movie, more specifically I had to do five hours of each math and English literacy every week, and anything else would result in getting dropped from this internship. To be completely honest, I knew that this would be a tough task for myself but I couldn’t resist turning down an opportunity that would forever change my life before even giving it a try, because that’s just who I am; I take risks that I know the consequences and difficulty of. But did I?


The first seven weeks went by and I was doing the bare minimum hours of math and turned in none of my English assignments. “As I finalize all grades for this round, I noticed that these assignments are still missing and were due weeks ago. Please complete by the end of the week if you want to receive any credit,” wrote my English teacher, Cara Shelton. I ignored her. Every time I saw these messages my stomach cramped up and my body started sweating. But then I was swung into the dream that I was living. The dream had become my reality and nobody could stop me.


I had my first warning. “Hello. I have not received any communication from you about your missing assignments nor have you completed any of the work. I do not have any option but to give you the zeros for the missing assignments, which was something I really, really did not want to do,” Cara followed up three weeks later. I’ve failed my classes, but more importantly, I failed myself and my facilitators’ trust.


That was the alarm that went off; the slap in the face that woke me up from my deep daydream. I decided to write an apology letter; one that was raw, transparent, and genuine (and, unintentionally, with every apology letters, sappy). “I’m so ashamed to admit my mistake of how much I messed up, last term,” I wrote. “When it comes to academic studies, I always try to keep up with the assignments… [but] somewhere along the way I lost motivation to do the work. It sounds stupid and it is and I was and I regret what I did.” I continued, “I hope you still trust me and allow me to have my second chance.” It was one of the hardest and most humiliating pieces of literature I’ve written in my entire life, but despite all the discomfort I went through when my fingers hit the letters on the keyboard, forming emotions in the form of an email, the self-reflection I had was the gem of that letter.


The most haunting part of this episode of my beautiful, dark, twisted show of a dream-turned-nightmare was living with the guilt afterward. I felt like a failure. I felt like the filmmaking life I’ve been dreaming about wasn’t for me. I lost hope in everything I was doing because I thought I failed so miserably that I can’t achieve anything in my life. The inner filmmaking child in me started to die out because I didn’t forgive myself and instead, started beating myself up.


I struggled with self-forgiveness. I thought I should’ve just quit. “Thank you for this email. Truly. It takes courage to admit when you are wrong and to acknowledge difficult life lessons. Of course, I will give you a second chance,” Cara replied. Knowing the person I hurt and disappointed had forgiven me, made me forgive myself. With months left, a movie to make, a huge experience to learn from, I told myself that I won’t let this mistake ruin this significant chapter of my life. I asked myself why am I doing the internship? What’s the main purpose of making this movie? What’s worth all the struggles and pain? The one answer I always come back to is my love and passion for the art of filmmaking.


People think of dreams as this utopia, filled with rainbows and unicorns, which in some cases are true, but most likely, not. It’s just what people hope to happen, and nothing else, and personally, I fell into the same trap as most people. I went into this underestimating the price tag of what I swiped my card to buy. That price tag that would haunt me afterward with the bills of what I bought. To this day, I still ask myself, was it all worth it? Without all the pain, and trouble I put myself through, I don’t think I would’ve learned so much from the internship. Not just about filmmaking and the different skills that will benefit me in my careers, but most importantly, about balance, trust, perseverance, self-forgiveness and the cost of living a dream.

Behind the Music: A Look at Female Musicians

In literacy, we were studying about different issues with gender inequality. We got to do research, interviews, and dive deeper into specific topics that we are passionate about; I chose music. In my writing (link here), I got inspirations from a New York Times article, which led me to investigate about why male artists are being listened to more than female artists. I also went three days, listening to only female artists, and I documented what happened, and the effects it had on me, in my writing. Again, click on this hyperlink here if you are interested in reading my article.

Look Through My Lens | Coming of Age

In literacy this year, we started things off by doing a chapter about coming of age. I wrote my coming of age story about my glasses and how I evolve from loving them to hating them, then later on in my life, I just had to accept it. This was a touchy topic to write about, personally, because it was a struggle I had to go through and I’ve always kept it a secret. I think now is a good time to release the story out there for the world to see, and not just keep it to myself, so if you want to read the entire paper, you can do so by clicking this link here

The play Pygmalion

In English literacy class this year, we are focusing on writing. The first unit of the year is about a play called Pygmalion by George Bernard Shaw. We were learning about identity. You might ask “why are we focusing on identity?” The goal of this unit is to write an argument essay about Eliza’s identity which is the main character. The question for the essay was “Did Eliza’s internal identity changed?” We read the whole play and we do something called “Text Dependent Questions.” Text Dependent Questions(TDQ) are questions that our learning facilitator, Claire, made for us to answer. While answering those questions, we are also practicing writing using advanced words, meaningful and short sentences and answering the questions clearly. Alongside with the TDQs, we also do other things like making our own vocabulary list, Characteristic tracker(this really helps us with our essay because we have all the info in one place) and planning our essay. We also got putted into groups and we were ask to make a fun, little project about the story. I was in a group of four and we were asked to compare one quote from Act IV and one quote from the end of the play which shows changes in Eliza’s identity. We decided to make a Scratch project and animate to show the difference. We also look at a model essay about “Did Mr. Doolittle(Eliza’s dad) internal identity changed?” This morning, we submitted our essays to Claire. In conclusion, it was an amazing play and it was fun to read, learn and write an essay about.

Link to my scratch project that I made with my friends:


This is us in the “Green room” learning about “Quote sandwich.”

I go to an unusual school!

I go to unusual school. This unusual school is located in Cambodia. Cambodia is a country in Southeast Asia. This unusual school is called the Liger Learning Center (LLC). Currently, our school has 50 students. LLC is a really different schools from other schools in Cambodia. It is a boarding school that provides students with scholarships to learn all the way through high school. This school also has a really different curriculum from other schools in Cambodia. We have different classes and one of them is called, “exploration”. Exploration is a seven weeks project that usually lead by a learning facilitator. We learn by exploring and researching. We have trips to provinces inside Cambodia and outside Cambodia. I think this school is really special. I love this school. My life would be absolutely different if I didn’t go to this unusual school.